White hot

I want these

A statute of liberty

“Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

-Emma Lazarus-

Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty  -noun-

an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

I was reading earlier this week and stumbled upon serendipity.  Its one of those beautiful words that I like because of its meaning and the way it sounds. Serendipity is one of those english words that just role off the tongue. The feeling I have for serendipity is almost akin to my favorite spanish word, todopoderoso [almighty/all powerful].

I changed my BBM status and stated that this was the year of serendipity, a year of discovery and happenstance that just come about. I’ve had some very serendipitous moments over this past year, mostly dealing with school and my career. From going to the bronx on a whim and actually spending the day with the clerkship director, to my lucky Medicine rotation where my attending happend to be Adventist and we immediately connected.

Well today was one of those days. I went to meet with one of my mentors and I discussed my upcoming rotation in the Bronx and the project that I plan on working on. And as it turns out my project goes hand-in-hand with her grant funded project dealing with central americans and dialysis. So now not only have I gotten some more insight on the breadth of my research, I think I just got some funding and attending support. Needless to say, I’m pretty stoked at how  productive and enlightening this day has been. Its been a great year for me professionally and academically, and I can only see this final year of med school getting better and better.

Im off to do some work…but only because I want to, Not cause I have to.

peace & love

P.S.- I love this song

5 hot things FREEDOM edition

Im FREE! This is one of the periods in med school where I have been utterly free. I have three weeks to rest, relax, veg out, read and do nothing [besides maybe plan interviews and stuff]. It still feels kinda weird, but I like it. So this another installment of 5 hot things. Watch out, cause these are particularly caliente.

-TV-

EASTBOUND AND DOWN is great. Danny McBride is great as Kenny Effin’ Powers. The show is about a foul-mouthed, drug using, washed up ex-MLB player and his attempts to return to his former glory. I saw the whole first season earlier this week on demand, and the first episode of the 2nd too. This show is funny as hell. I may keep my promotional HBO subscription for this. [well…maybe fore this, boardwalk empire, and How to make it in america lol]

-Fashion-

I guess my fashion pic is not so “fashionable”. I just want a new hat for winter. So besides a red knit beanie, Im going to buy a Classic Braves fitted. Though Im in a black Tee phase, I also wear a lot of grey, the braves blue and red goes hard with grey.

-Music-

The Return of D’angelo….

Yup, it’s a collabo with Mark Ronson. It’s not classic “neo soul” D, but its great in a spacey- psychedelic kinda way [ basically confirming Mark Ronson never fails to come through]

-Shoes-

I want boots. I like boots, i haven’t owned boots [besides my clarks desert boots] since high school in PA. I’ve been searching I found the perfect multi-purpose, work/play boot in the L.L.bean Work boot.  Im ordering them next week.

– Thoughts-

I was watching the most recent episode of Real time with Bill Maher, which is a great show btw. Anyway, many topics came up from Global warming and how that one CNN correspondent, Amy Holmes [Bitch], expressed an apparently popular conservative point of view concerning Global warming.  There are a lot of people who don’t believe in global warming, but concede that if it does exist, there is evidence that no matter how much we try to curb our pollution, it wont make much difference. These are the same people who are against reform, against regulation and anti-environment. ALL in the name of money… But i digress…

Maher doesn’t believe in God.  He and the rest of his panel that night happened to all not believe in god. They were talking about science and how it gives truth. And all the christians and religious people are “loony”. I believe some christians are loony, as are some scientist. I believe in a balance. I believe that it must be a pretty sad existence to not believe in god. To deny how he moves in your life. To deny the doors he opens and the people he puts in your way. I’ve seen it more than ever during my med school experience in so many different circumstances.

So my thoughts are looking for heavenward. I’m focusing on being grateful for what I have. I’m thanking God for the blessings he’s given me despite the good that I would do, but do not do. It doesn’t take much to take inventory of your life and see how God moves.

REAL TALK

later

If i Fell

Dream = Sueño

“Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.


Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.”

-Langston Hughes-

wholy holy

Enjoy some classic soul

[John Legend and the roots covered this on their new album Wake up. ]

Life in death

Last night I came face to face with death again…

In medicine we see life. Life at its best and at its worst. Life beyond facade and pretense. We are spared no detail of the human experience. And I love it, I love the passion and the raw emotion and energy. I love the mix of deductive reasoning and gut instinct. I love this job. I feel as if sometimes I am one of the luckiest people in the world, to have found my calling.

But with the good comes the bad. This up close view of life comes with an up close and personal view of death.  Death is wicked and respects no one. It doesn’t care how old you are, who you are, what you did. It comes, and in some instances we can delay it and in others we cannot. People say you get used to death. You can grow accustomed to it, I don’t know if i ever will.When a person earnestly asks you ” am I going to die?”, it’s almost physically painful to be obligated to tell the truth.

I don’t know if I can not feel this way. Not pause and reflect on the life lost. Not review the scenario. Not think about the family and friends. Not think about what I could have done differently. Not think about how truly precious and fleeting life is. Not that this is something that will keep me from moving on, because when the code runs and adrenaline is high, you have no time to cry. You get into business mode and emotion is out the door.

In some ways, this pain and sadness I feel, make me feel alive. I feel more alive than some who just drone on in a superficial existence. I feel that the sun shines brighter,  and flowers are smell sweeter when you see life for what it is. My appreciation for life has mad my laughs come from a different place and my tears, they seem to seep from my very soul.

I will close by reminding who ever may stumble upon this, to appreciate life. Appreciate the people in your life. Thank them, Love them. Let people know how you feel and what you feel.

live version of a James Taylor Classic

peace&love

Destiny = El Destino

Destiny is half chance and half choice

It presents itself to everyone by chance.

What becomes of ones destiny is governed by choice.

The wise, seize it, embrace it

The foolhardy hunt it, grasping at any semblance of  it

The most unfortunate are the lazy,

for they sit idly by and watch if pass before their eyes…

I wanna dance like these dudes…