Cambio= Change

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you can almost feel yourself becoming someone new? Not in a creepy talented Mr. Ripley kinda way, more like in a personal growth and revelation type thing. I know Im not alone in that every summer of my youth I had visions of grandeur for every summer. I had so many plans and things too accomplish, I had resolutions to start the next school year a totally different person. Those boyhood hopes and dreams rarely materialized and i usually ended up wasting those so precious,and ever so quickly fleeting, moments of summer running around on some prepubescent mission of no particular importance.

Those summers and stories are in the recesses of my mind but as i read Sag Harbor, a coming of age story of a pretty regular kid with a pretty unconventional upbringing in a black enclave in the Hamptoms; I was fondly reminded of my own childhood and my own thoughts and dreams that I had pretty much forgotten. This summer started out stressful, with boards and all, but with that behind me I maintained a level of busyness to keep my sanity but as soon I got to Panama it all changed. I was totally disconnected from the rest of the world, no cell phone, minimal internet access and no watch. I loved every minute of it. There were times where Id just walk off, stuck in a trance or daze. Needless to say, in Panama, I had A LOT of time to reflect and focus on myself and what I was feeling. That felt good, considering I dont have a lot of to do that [or atleast it feels that way] during the school year.

I say all of this to bring up the point that now, after all the thinking and self reflection that I am on the brink of something. Of what it is, I am not sure. But I am sure that I like the feeling, its like Im moving toward something a new awareness or something. I spent time looking at the person I was, as a boy and also faced myself as the man I currently am. Its such an odd feeling because I am exactly dead center in this life altering experience of life. I guess its a good thing to be able to have this self assesment and to put so many things into perspective now. I dont want to wax existentially or anything I just feel as if what ever it is im at the cusp of Im willing to accept this change. Because I know that change is growth. Im not afraid. Nope, not one bit

Julian

About julian watkins
I'm a young doctor living in the Miami area. I try to live life to the fullest every day. I love music, movies, art, running, politics, books, traveling, pretty girls and cool looking stuff. I started this blog in Medical School and I'll try to keep it up throughout my residency. I'll take everything one day, one photo, one song at a time.

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